virginia: i’m gonna throw up  just looking at you.

me: gee, thanks virg.

my wife and i, my bil and his gf (virginia) were in the garage saturday eve getting a good beer buzz on.   except for me of course since i don’t drink too much since i got the sugar (my name for diabetes taken from lavell crawford).

to amuse myself i got on the old busted office chair that i kept around to use as a stool for when i do mechanical stuff.  it has come in handy.  anyway…  i started spinning around on the chair.  after a few seconds i could feel dizziness setting in.  so i said ” ooh, watch me throw up!”… back to the top.

skunk.  our backyard was visited by a skunk last night.  it was a very very strong one.  it must’ve been after 11 or so last night and i was enjoying the pleasant coolness from the open window just a couple of feet from my face.  then the familiar pungent odor from our unwanted visitor assaulted my nose.  little stinky prick (pardon my french).  i was tempted to let the dog outside to chase it away, but i thought better of it after i pictured my self giving him a tomato juice and lemon bath for the next two hours.  we had the ac on earlier in the evening and the house was cool enough still so we just closed up all of the windows.  one thing about that dang smell, it clings to your nose.  it was stuck in my nostrils until i drifted off to sleep.

if he comes back again tonight, i’m getting a pellet gun.

before we got our dog ‘buddy’, one summer we had a skunk living in our backyard!  it was frickin’ miserable that summer.  we hadn’t installed the ac yet so we lived with the windows open during the evening to keep the house cool.  that little stinker was torturing us.  he resided under our shed. 

we were told by the wildlife officer we called that they don’t handle non-dangerous wildlife and we were on our own.  being the cheap miser that i am, i didn’t want to call a pest control company either.  we were told that they like peace and quiet and to place a radio in the shed to get it to vacate.  it didn’t. 

we moved forward to plan b, the trap.  we  bought a ‘have-a-heart’ trap.  i was given this jewel of a plan from a coworker that caught and disposed of squirrels that were driving his dogs bonkers.  he said to trap it and dunk it in a barrel of water.  sounded like a feasible plan.  but the difference between squirrels and skunks is obvious.  the distance you need between you and the stinky squirter.  squirrels don’t shoot stinky oil at you.  so i amended the plan by tying a rope to the trap.  i figured that i could pull the rope from my elevated backyard deck and drop the trap into the prefilled barrel.

it worked like a charm… almost.  everything was going smoothly.  the trap worked great, the skunk was pretty pissed off, falling for the ‘cat food in the trap’ trick.  he was scratching furiously at the trap.  it woke us up with the scratching.  we were pretty excited at the prospect of sweet clean cool night air again.  i set the barrel in place.  i pulled the rope and the skunk filled trap moved perfectly toward the barrel.  i lifted it striaght up from the deck above and dropped it into the barrel… then it happened.  the trap was not designed to be vertically immersed.  the trap door opened up when it went into the water!!!  the skunk came shooting out of the barrel like in a cartoon!!  my wife, my son and I looked like the three stooges running crazily into each other trying to scramble back into the house!  i wish i would have taped it.  it still makes me chuckle.

so the trap trick never worked again.  he/she wasn’t falling for it anymore.  so we were dejected and facing the reality of living through the misery.  until one day i was playing with the neighbor’s puppy.  the neighbor’s pitbull puppy.  i found him one morning out loose so i put him in my yard, not wanting to drop him over the fence, and nobody was home next door.  i left for work.  when i returned that evening, i saw the happy little puppy playing with something in the back yard.  that something was the lifeless body of the skunk!  the little bugger went under the shed and killed it!!!  then he had his way with it for the rest of the day.  i can’t say i felt too badly for the skunk.  it had some sharp teeth and claws.  the puppy didn’t have a scratch, but didn’t smell too good.  i plopped him over into his own yard and was ecstatic at my good fortune.  the skunk went into the trash can.  we enjoyed the rest of the summer skunkless.

i still have the trap.  that new one better watch out.

you know, i’m a heck of a dad.  i was from the first day i saw him open his eyes.  i think i belong to them more than they belong to me.

for all of you dads out there that are all about the kids, keep on going dudes.  it’s what we’re here to do.  never give up on the hard ones and be thankful for the good ones.

it’s a term i came up with a few years ago.  it’s gonna get big.  we have a few folks in our family that like to get their buzz on.  one day talking with my kid about my brother-in-law being tipsy, i referred to said bil as ‘drunkle’.  it stuck.  that word spread around the family as the way to refer to an uncle that is buzzed.  take it and use it in good health.

well i have a few hours of riding in so far.  it’s hard trying not to think how easy this was back in the day.  heck, even a few years ago it wasn’t this hard.  all the more reason to stick with it and keep on pedaling.

how is everyone doing?  tell me one thing you were happy to get done today? 

it’s frickin’ june already!  almost time to start playing Christmas music.  okay just kidding… sorta.

guess what i did yesterday?…. nope … nope… one more try…. nope.  I went bike riding!  me, bike riding.  poor bike had my fat butt crushing down on it.  my ma bought the bike from a friend of ours because she knew i was looking for a newer one.  she found a diamondback in great shape.  i rode it from the friend’s house to my ma’s (because i had to mow her front lawn).  by the time i was done mowing though the front tire was completely flat.  so i pulled it off and had my wife pick me up.  i went out last night to our brand new sparkling fresh walmart.  it is only 5 minutes away from the house!  it is humongous.  i picked up some of those new fangled hard to go flat tubes and replaced the crummy go flat with a little sticker existing one.  so today i should be in business.  i’m planning on a 4 to 5 mile ride.  not too far but far enough for the butt to get a little peaved.  wish me luck.

i just have been no where near a computer with enough time to post anything.

there are things everyday that i think are post worthy, but by the time i get home from the fabulous rocky mountains i forget all about them.  what’s up with that?

this will all be random stuff so feel free to go get a soda and a sandwich.

i want to go see ironman, indiana jones, hulk and i’m sure a handful of other stuff.  i wonder if my kid will go with me.

i love online banking.  i love how my bank account goes from breaking at the seams to the sound of a hollow tank; all within 5 minutes.  i feel rich and poor at the same time.

our 21st anniversary was yesterday.  woohoo!  21 years of wedded bliss.  my wife should get a medal for putting up with me for that long.

we went to florida last weekend.  i searched for the nearest hooters and got there 15 minutes after closing time. :(  the beach was awesome.  we stayed at cocoa beach (ehh.) and drove to daytona beach for saturday evening.  daytona beach is awesome.  i’ll post some pics on flickr sometime this week.  we rented a mustang convertible while down there.  that was a first for me.  i loved it.  convertibles frickin’ rock.  they don’t go well in colorado.  too cold in february.

today i mounted my mom’s microwave to the wall for her, and mowed her grass.  i got breakfast out of the deal.  mmmm….

could somebody please tell me when i have an unsightly hair sticking out of, in front of, or generally anywhere near my ear???

i hate ear hair.  it is the same as telling me that i’m getting old.  ear hair and elderly people go hand in hand.  so if i can keep my ears clear of hair, i’ll never get old.  so please, be kind, tell me.

last friday i was driving to pick up the mrs from work.  it was getting warm out so i had my window down and driving along.  suddenly - bap! bap!!x100.  i just drove through a  swarm of honey bees!  i assumed right away that they were probably relocating hives and i felt horrible that i just took out a chunck of them.  then my eyes widen thinking there may well be a handful of bees buzzing behind me.   did i mention i have an inordinate fear of bees (and snakes)?  my heart started racing and i was catching quick peeks over my shoulder to see if there were any of the flying kamikazes behind me.  i listened for the buzzing…  there it was.  faint, but there.

only one thing to do…  pull the frick over!!!!  and i mean now!

i found the nearest open space and pulled over.  i opened all of the windows simultaneiously with jumping out.  i looked on as the lone buzzer found his way out and buzzed on his way.  i made a thorough inspection of the back looking for any buzz buddies of buzzer 1.  with none found i hopped in and was back on track.

sorry bees.  bad timing.

last week our niece was over visiting w/ my wife.  i had an old pc that i was putting back together after i pulled out the hard drive to secure our info off of it.  my wife gently suggested that our niece could use a pc for her daughter as they don’t have one.  i figured, sure, that’d be a good use for it.  i put it together and sent it on its way.

so last night, my wife was on the phone w/ our other niece (sister to first niece).  she said they were coming over to work on our pc because they needed ms word.  after she hung up, i looked over at her and scrunched my eyebrows.  ’so why exactly did i send them a pc?’  she didn’t appreciate the tone.  she was right.  i withdrew the question and held it for the niece.

niece2 arrived and sat with us while her friend worked on our pc.

me: so did you guys set up the pc i sent home w/ your sister?

niece2: yeah, we put it on the computer desk.

me: it has ms word on it.

niece2: it does?  oh, we didn’t hook it up yet.  we just put it on the desk.

me: *blink blink* hmmmmmm

niece2: so we didn’t have to drive all the way over here?

me: *smiling and shrugging*

it was a nice visit anyway.  they brought their two daughters and another great-niece of ours.  they kept us laughing the whole time.  the girls played twister and took turns on the elliptical machine.  it takes so little to entertain kids.  i’m glad they came over.  moments like these go by too fast.  it won’t be long before we see them as often as we see our sons, not very.

take care.